“FANOSA”

It was 2016, infidelity had rocked our marriage and we were separated. We hadn’t been under the same roof in months and communication was a challenge. Though trust was slowing being rebuilt, it was difficult to be vulnerable with one another. Our marriage therapist introduced a “check-in” tool that was so effective, we still use it today. It gave us a framework to:

• Express our feelings

• Affirm one another

• Share any needs

• Own and ask for forgiveness for any ways we’d hurt one another

• Give insight into any personal victories or struggles

• Share what God was teaching us

We put this into motion by setting an alarm on our phones a few days a week to remind us it’s time to check in with one another. We’ll often do these check-ins during a walk or a drive. It’s a great way to dive into your spouse’s world and seek to understand their heart.