Blinded
In the 6th grade, I sat in the front row of Mrs. Collins’ class and could no longer read the blackboard. It was the 80s and pink tortoise-shell glasses seemed like the right choice 😂 🤓 These glasses lasted until freshman year in high school, when I opted for contact lenses.
By the age of 38, I needed readers in addition to my contacts to work, read anything, or even see my food when I ate! My vision is never something I fought with or struggled against. As far back as I can remember, the world was a blur without contacts or glasses and this was simply my norm.
Fast forward to 2 weeks ago - we were on a “Footsteps of [the Apostle] Paul” tour through Greece and Turkey. I had my regular seeing glasses, and multiple pairs of readers and contacts packed (one can never be too prepared!). On the 2nd day of the trip, I began seeing a strange haze as we toured the monasteries of Meteora, Greece. By bedtime, I pried the contacts out of my burning eyes and slept with a cold compress on my face.
I woke up on day 3 and couldn’t open my eyes. I struggle with environmental allergies and was having severe attacks, but this was different. Alex had to help me to the bathroom, get me dressed, pack my stuff, and guide me onto the bus. Folks on our tour were so kind, offering to bring me food, talk to me, pray for me, but I felt so helpless. I couldn’t always tell who was talking, what food I was putting in my mouth, or even where I was. My pride didn’t like being helpless - I’m the caretaker in our family, and I struggle to accept others’ help, fearing I might be considered a burden.
Seven hours into my blindness, we arrived in Athens and our exceptional tour guide, Ron Singer (who was also our guide when we went to Israel last year), and Alex each took an arm and guided me to a local pharmacy where I was given steroid eye drops. The drops worked seemingly instantaneously - my eyes opened, and while ultra-sensitive to light, I could see! It came just as we arrived at the Acropolis and Parthenon!! Alex, who is a physician, assured me that the medication in the drops should not work at the speed in which I had regained my sight. We weren’t sure what to make of this, but were astounded, even confounded, as I rebounded 😉
As day became evening, it suddenly occurred to me that I could see perfectly. I could read my dinner menu, read every sign around me in the distance, and saw people’s faces clearly. I put my regular seeing glasses on, and the prescription was now totally off. Alex even checked my eyes that night to ensure that I hadn’t left contacts in accidentally. I would go on to enjoy several more days of perfect vision without glasses or contacts. What was happening?! The parallels weren’t lost on me….I had lost my sight and then regained perfect vision while on a tour of the Apostle Paul’s footsteps, who was blinded by Jesus for 3 days and then was given his sight back (read about Paul’s conversion in Acts 9). I was perplexed, and all I could think to ask was, “why me?”.
A new friend we met on the tour, Rachel Landingham, suggested I was asking God the wrong question. Instead of asking “why me?”, perhaps I should be asking, “what would you like me to do with this, God?”. So I prayed and prayed for an answer to this second question, and shared this mystery with others on our trip.
By day 7 of the tour, my sight began to deteriorate and within a day, my old poor vision returned and I needed my regular seeing glasses. I wasn’t sad or disappointed - Alex and I had discussed my newfound sight and agreed that I should hold it loosely. But that I should also be present, grateful, and truly marvel at the gift God gave me for a short time. Why did this happen? I’m still not sure. Perhaps God was teaching me to learn to accept other’s help, to use this story to encourage others, or maybe something much bigger.
I often pray about what to share on here and felt a strong conviction this week to share this story. To remind others (and myself!), that Jesus is in the business of miracles. His ways are infinitely higher than ours, as are His thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9). What a joy to simply watch the world around us and look for those moments where He makes His presence fully known or moments where He chooses to remain anonymous. ❤️❤️ And when they do happen (which they most certainly will), may we continue to ask Rachel’s beautiful question, “what would you like me to do with this, God?”
Written by Jen
June 15, 2024