Mountains or Mole Hills?
It’s 67°F on a cloudless evening near Big Bend National Park (on the Texas/Mexico border), and I’m surrounded by mountains and a setting sun as I write this…a story about capturing a sunset earlier this week.
I was challenged while on a run when listening to this podcast (our friends, Dennis & Brenda Greer were guests) about healthy Christ-centered marriages and this one thing they do well…which is not something I do well! The ability to overlook small offenses.
Here’s a practical example from earlier this week: Alex wanted to capture some drone footage of the sun setting over nearby mountains, so we took off in the jeep, chasing the falling sun, with me in the driver’s seat. He was ready to jump out as soon as we hit this particular mountain pass and get the drone flying. One big issue - I’m an overly cautious, sometimes indecisive, typically slow driver…especially on winding roads up steep mountain passes 🤣
Alex’s impatience with my driving choices sent me crawling into my shell. We did make it to the top of the pass and he captured some beautiful drone shots, and was excited to talk about it afterward. On the drive back “home”, I sat and stewed in my self-righteousness…”How could he treat me this way, after I gave up an hour of my night to drive him around for drone footage? I was doing the best I could and he instead criticized me.” I was allowing Satan to have a field day with this and was quiet the remainder of the evening, not wanting to interact with Alex. He’d hurt me and it was now on him to apologize.
Sigh. I was so laser focused on this seemingly “heinous injustice” Alex had committed against me, that I completely failed to see how quickly I withdrew and fell into my typical ditch of self-righteousness. That is, thinking higher of myself than of others. I so quickly can judge other’s actions, while conveniently not seeking their heart nor asking questions. And beyond this sin, I made a mountain out of a mole hill.
Alex had zero malicious intent on our drive - he was not setting out to hurt me that night. He was just excited to get some great drone footage of a quickly setting sun and got impatient with my slow driving.
I could have left it at that and moved on, or chosen to have a conversation about it later in which I shared my hurts lovingly, but I sadly made the choice to dig my heels in and demand repayment, withholding attention and love until I got what I wanted and felt I deserved.
Thank you Jesus for forgiving me again and again for such pettiness. Thank you for opening my eyes to my own sin continually (1 John 1:8). Thank you for the opportunity to apologize to the man you’ve gifted me in life, and to seek his forgiveness. Thank you for loving me well and convicting me to share this story. I am praying you who have read this far, use my own selfishness and self-righteousness as a cautionary tale. 🙏🏻
And in case you’re wondering, Alex felt convicted to apologize and ask for forgiveness for his impatience. I truly appreciated this and thanked God that the Holy Spirit is moving in him as well!!
Written by Jen
Published March 2, 2024